Murphy report release imminent.

UPDATE - RELEASE NOW DELAYED CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

McCabe was the final abuser mentioned in the Murphy report, to come before the courts. It therefore leads the way for the long awaited full publication. Extracts already published highlight major failings in the way church and state investigated clerical sexual abuse. Judge Yvonne Murphy pulls no punches when she gave her assessment of this redacted chapter:

 "This case encapsulates everything that was wrong with the archdiocesan handling of child sexual abuse cases." Ryan protected McCabe. "The connivance by the Gardaí in effectively stifling one complaint and failing to investigate another, and in allowing Fr [McCabe] to leave the country is shocking."

If this comment has been released, we await with bated breath to see what's been redacted.

UPDATE - RELEASE NOW DELAYED CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

Irish Independent article - 23 March 2013

Irish Independent article - 23 March 2013

Irish Times article 23 March 2013

Irish Times article 23 March 2013

Lenient Sentence?

There have been some reports in the press that I was 'outraged' by the leniency of the sentence. This is untrue. I have had 24 hours to analyse it and my views have shifted slightly. I still believe he started serving his own personal sentence 5 years ago when he was tracked down.

However I feel the Irish Justice system left the Judge with very little option. I am not a lawyer but what concerns me are the signals that are sent out to those future victims who may come forward, and endure a difficult legal and courtroom process, may be dissuaded from doing so unless they believe their journey will be one where the ultimate punishment fits the crime.

It also sends out the wrong signals to perpetrators of abuse against children, that the system is not a deterrent.

The fact that current sentencing guidelines for historical abuse, pre early 80's, is such that the guilty party can only be given a 2 year sentence because that was the maximum at the time of the offence, seems slightly antiquated. The current maximum sentence for this crimes is ten years. There seems to be an imbalance which needs to be addressed.

As far as McCabe's sentence is concerned the Judge listed the mitigating circumstances. The fact that he did plead guilty. The fact he issued an apology, she also took into account his age and medical condition. Whether the sentence should run concurrently is another issue and I am not in a position to comment.

I perhaps will never know how long he will serve for what he did to me, nor will any of the victims, but he has served time. This is important because there are so many victims who never get to court and never given a reason why, by the Director of Public Prosecutions.

Considering that victims of this particular crime carry with them a sense of guilt and shame most of their lives and somehow feel responsible for what happened, then I would urge the DPP to be more open in these cases, as far as giving a valid reason not to prosecute. At least then the victim is aware that it's not because they are not believed.

Being believed is such a huge issue for victims of sexual crimes - current or historical.

Priest Abuser McCabe Compares Himself to Jesus Christ

Priest Abuser McCabe Compares Himself to Jesus Christ

Press coverage - Leinster Leader

My case, as reported by the Leinster Leader, an Irish regional newspaper

How did I feel reading my Victim Impact Statement?

People have asked me how I felt reading my Victim Impact Statement in court?

Prior to reading the statement, I was asked to omit certain parts because of my other abuser but I felt happy that nearly all I had written was left intact for me to explain the affect my experiences had on myself, my partner, my family and anyone who knew me. It was my one opportunity to explain how I felt both then and now.

Was I nervous? Yes.
Was my throat dry? Yes.
Did I have the support and love of my partner and family? Yes.
Was I ready? Yes.

I was called to the stand. I had to pass within 1 metre of  McCabe. Would I look at him? Would I choose the ramp and walk behind him? Would I stop briefly and stare into his eyes so deeply, that only he would really know what I was thinking?

With dignity mustered, I walked slowly in front of him, without looking at him, and took my place in the witness box and took the oath.

McCabe was sitting about 2 meters over my left shoulder so I took my seat and a deep breath. I could feel my legs shaking and my voice was quivering but I tried to breathe as slowly as I could and I started to give the account of my life as I know it.

It probably took 10-12 minutes and was one of the most surreal experiences of my life. It was almost like a potted version of someone else's life....but incredibly, I knew it was mine.

When I finished I stood up and walked past him again, without giving him the satisfaction of a glance.

I remember his face!

Just one word that meant so much.

He was ushered into the courtroom by two Policemen. He was not a feeble old man. He was well dressed and carried a blue and white plastic bag. I hadn't seen him for 37 years but I recognised him. I was on the opposite side of the courtroom....the last time we met he was so much closer and had control of me but NOT TODAY.

He was sworn in and the charge of indecent assault was put to him and he was then asked how he would plead.

Even at this stage I felt as if I was dreaming. Am I here in a courtroom after 37 years of shame, guilt and heartache? Is he about to finally admit his wrongdoings? For so many years when asked what I wanted, I always said 'my day in Court' and here I am. For me it was the ultimate exoneration, vindication and liberation. The truth is out and everyone now believes me.

'GUILTY' he said and I cried.

Happy Birthday?

Today I am 50 years old but instead of celebrating my birthday I am flying to Ireland to appear in court and come face to face with one of two men that sexually abused me when I was 13 years old.

I have not seen him since that day and I don't know what to expect or how I will react.

I am told the trial could last 7 to 10 days and I am not relishing the experience. He may offer a guilty plea to a reduced charge but I have no control whether it's acceptable to the state, so it's out of my hands.              

It has been a 37 year wait........... and it is only about 37 years late.

What's a Canon?

Vincent Mercer, the Headmaster excused me from class and showed me into a private room.

 I was nervous, had I done something wrong?

I was introduced to Canon McMahon. He said he was from Archbishops House in Dublin and asked me to recount what had happened to me a couple of days before. I told him as best I could knowing who had just taken me to the room and could be listening outside the door.

Fear has the power to silence anything!

I only had the courage to tell him about McCabe and regretfully I was left with my other 'dirty' secret. What could I do, when I knew I would have contact with the other person on a daily basis?

This was the first recorded version of what happened and I presume it was taken back to the Archbishop in Dublin. I have a copy of his report and occasionally I read it to remind myself that I did the right thing in reporting it and even then not being afraid to speak out (albeit I only told half the story).

An innocent picture.

My pony, Snowball.

At first glance, an innocent photo of a child looking smug on his pony! But this photo was perhaps the trigger for the one of the events that changed my life forever. The photo was proudly displayed in  my family home, and was admired by Fr Patrick McCabe on his 'visit'. Within 5 hours, he had tracked me down and abused me.